New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
