dude i'm inner monologue high
zippers are such a cool invention
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
