So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
too bad you live with your parents still
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
