Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
