Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
