what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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