I can't watch pbs sober anymore
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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