Im at strip club and am horny
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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