I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
