The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
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