So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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