it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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