Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
