um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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