By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
