At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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