If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
