I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
