Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
