It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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