He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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