exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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