I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
