Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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