wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
