now i know why i became what i already was.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
being pregnant is like rehab
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
