At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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