yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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