So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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