What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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