a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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