oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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