did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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