Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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