They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
