I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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