just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
