I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
