I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it glows. i had to have it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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