well I can't set my house on fire every night
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
