i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
