I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
