Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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