Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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