Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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