Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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