I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
