I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
