East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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