its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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