hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
