Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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