and you said cock pushups were impossible
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
