Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
