bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
