Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
