Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
