Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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