I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I miss vodka workout Fridays
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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