I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
