yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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