why didn't you poke me back
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
