Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
