question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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