its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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