I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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